


The History of Korekiyo

by DoctorRosalia



Series: The History of Some Kids [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Especially for chapter 3, F/M, Gen, don't actually take this seriously, major ndrv3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 12:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorRosalia/pseuds/DoctorRosalia
Summary: A lady wants kids and has kids. Things ensue.A History of Japan parody.





	The History of Korekiyo

There's a lady. Who is she? No one knows. What we do know, though, is she wants some kids.

"Hmm, I would like some kids," says the lady, so she gets pregnant and stays pregnant for nine months.

After nine months, she finally decides to stop being pregnant, and she gives birth! Is it a boy or a girl or a bee or a tiger? Who knows?

Surprise! It's a girl!

"Ew, I don't want a girl," thinks the lady, "girls are weird, and I want a boy who can look at things and move stuff." 

So she names the girl Shrine (Miyadera), and decides to get and stay pregnant again for another nine months.

Now is time to stop being pregnant again and give birth! What will it be? Boy? Girl? Hippopotamus? Elder God? No one knows.

Surprise! It's a boy! The lady likes it so much she names the boy JUST and PURE (Korekiyo)

Then the lady dies, and now Shrine has to take care of Korekiyo, so she tells him STORIES! And he liked stories so much he decided to learn more stories, and now he's the best at stories.

"Hey Shrine," said Korekiyo

"Could you call me something other than Shrine?" Said Shrine

"Okay, Big Sis (nee-san)."

And then Korekiyo grew and grew and grew and he was still the best at stories.

"Hey Big Sis," said Korekiyo.

"Yes?" said Shrine.

"What is sex?" said Korekiyo.

"Let me show you," said Shrine.

And Korekiyo liked it so much that he did more sexy times with Shrine a lot.

Oh? What's this? It's LEUKAEMIA! Korekiyo dodges leukaemia with skill, but Shrine doesn't, and gets kicked in the face with it, and has to go to the hospital for a few years.

Now there's less sexy times between Korekiyo and Shrine, but it's alright, because Shrine isn't dead. Oh wait, she just died.

Now Korekiyo is sad because there's no more sexy times and now he has to take care of himself, so he goes and shows off his Story Skills to a cool school, and they take care of him in exchange of him showing off his Story Skills.

Korekiyo eventually has to go on a trip to a weird place called Africa. Africa liked him so much, that they beat him up until he was successfully knocked out.

(In knocked out world)

"Hey Korekiyo," said Dead!Shrine

"Hey Big Sis," said Korekiyo

"I'm bored, go find me some friends to talk and do stuff with," said Dead!Shrine

"Okay," said Korekiyo

So Korekiyo goes back to Japan, and starts KILLING GIRLS MERCILESSLY

Then this one girl with short pink hair shows up.

"Hey, check out this new thing! It's sexy times, but you get hurt!" said the pink girl.

"Cool," says Korekiyo, and he kills the pink girl.

After the hurt sexy times, Korekiyo gets sad because Shrine isn't here to enjoy the hurt sexy times.

What do you do when your Big Sis is not here to enjoy the new thing you just found?  
-Grieve for her? no  
-Go to her grave? no  
-Become a better person in memory of her? no  
-Become her? HELL Y E A H

So Korekiyo slices off a piece of his brain and dedicates it to Shrine, and he does it so well, that he even looks like her. Except, now he doesn't look like himself, but he doesn't want to get rid of his Shrine-self, so he gets a cool mask to cover up his Shrine-self.

Now he keeps killing girls mercilessly, and everything thing is fine and dan-

TIME FOR M E T E O R S

The human race is almost extinct, and a group of kids need to take a timeout off of earth and think about what they've done.

This guy with a luck streak and an ahoge finds these people. 

"You need to go to space," says the ahoge guy.

"We don't want to go to space," says the group of kids

"Too bad," says the ahoge guy as he stuffs the kids in a jail and sends the jail off to space.

Korekiyo thinks about things in jail, like "hey, there's a lot of girls here, I could continue to kill girls mercilessly," but then a bear and his kids show up, and now there's a killing game, which doesn't phase Korekiyo a lot because he plans to kill anyways.

"Hi story guy," says a piano enthusiast girl.

"Big Sis would like you," says Korekiyo.

"Who's Big Sis?" Says piano girl.

"Only the BEST and MOST AWESOMEST person in SPACE," says Korekiyo.

"Korekiyo, do you have sexy times with Big Sis?" asks piano girl.

"Maybe," says Korekiyo.

Then, a bunch of insignificant people die, and Korekiyo can't go any second longer without killing someone, so he chooses to kill a fighter girl who's at least ten times stronger than him with a weird see-saw thing. He gets so close to killing her that he-

A WILD ARTIST APPEARS

"Jesus thinks you're cool, and I think you're cool and I love you and stuff," says the artist.

"Cool," Korekiyo says as he sends a sword flying through her neck.

Then some people find the artist body and tries to get her spirit back because they miss her, but the fighter girl gets killed instead.

Also this purple gremlin fakes his death in order to just fuck with everybody.

It's time for the C L A S S T R I A L

So two people died (and almost a third) and someone did it, so who was it?

"Korekiyo did it," says a guy in a funny black hat.

"You can't prove that," says Korekiyo.

"I can prove you killed the fighter girl," says the hat guy.

"You can't prove I killed the artist girl," says Korekiyo.

"Yes I can," says the hat guy as he solves the entire case.

"Stop accusing Korekiyo of stuff," says Korekiyo's Shrine-self, but it was too late because everyone got done saying that Korekiyo was guilty, and everyone was right, so it's time for Korekiyo to DIE.

So he gets tied up like in hurt sexy time, except now he gets spun around and this makes him sick. Then, the bear kids cut his rope and drop him in a pot. They make stew of him and eat him while a green robo-bear kills himself.

Then Korekiyo's spirit is F R E E D and he can finally see Shrine again! (Yay!)

"Hey Big Sis" says Korekiyo.

"Hey Korekiyo," says Shrine.

"I did that thing you asked me to do," says Korekiyo.

"Fuck you," Shrine says as she makes Korekiyo's spirit disappear.

And we still don't know where Korekiyo went.

B Y E


End file.
